From The Under 35 Project: “A Good Death”

Posted: 28 Jun 2013 09:00 AM PDT

New from The Under 35 Project: A practitioner's thoughts on grief, death, and the loss of a parent. By Christa Joy.
In her last days of life, we tended to Mom as though she were able to feel us, hear us, and experience the sensory world with us. Hospice had told us to continue on as though she could hear what we were saying. We sat with her, cleaned her, spoke to her, but she was in her own internal world. We'd already had our last meal together, our last shared conversation, our last laugh. Time had shifted from things we did together to things we were forced to do apart. And that separation widened.
Just two weeks earlier, the hospice nurse reminisced with Mom about their earliest meetings in our living room. "Remember Jen, when I asked you if you had any goals for your end of life? And you said, 'Do I have to?'" They both laughed. Knowing Mom for only a short while, the nurse knew that she was speaking with someone who was done with her life's work. Mom wasn't worried about goals. There were things she would have liked to have done,, but she wasn't going to get stuck on those unknowns and incompletes. She wasn't worried about dying.
During her last lucid moments, my brother, sister, and I sat around her on her bed. Mom had called her bed "her friend" during her last few months living with advanced cancer. There was nothing more comforting to her pain than the softness of her purple fleece sheets and her thick foam mattress. We played her favorite hymns or the sound of ocean waves at her bedside. That morning when she was awake, I told her, "We love you Mom. You've been the best Mom in the world for us. We love you so much." And my sister repeated these words. And my brother repeated these words. And she opened her eyes, closed her eyes, opened her eyes. She smiled. We rubbed her arms, kissed her cheeks, held her to us, and held each other.
Mom died on May 26, 2013, as the first bit of sunshine cascaded across the front lawn after days of rain. It was Sunday and she'd normally have been going to church. We bathed her body, dressed her in the clothes she would have worn. Her favorite shoes and socks that didn't quite match but that she loved. We called the crematory in Southern Vermont that would come to Western Massachusetts and take her body away.
In the moments that followed her death, I was struck by so many sensory experiences. The felt distance between her and I—we couldn't be farther apart—and that this separation was final, absolute, unchangeable.
People use the phrase "cheated by death." I had a moment of seeing a picture of her on my computer and finding my hand touching the screen, reaching for her. Finding it impossible to comprehend she couldn't answer me if I called down the stairs. She couldn't answer her phone. She couldn't be seen or heard or loved by me in a physical form, ever again.
We know we're going to die. We know we'll experience loss of others before our own death. We expect to lose our own parents before the loss of our children or those younger than ourselves. But none of that comforts us in our loss of a parent.
In meditation we follow the breath. We notice our mind's activity and return to the present moment through practice.
In grief, we do the same. We follow the breath. We notice the mind's activity and return to the present moment through practice.
We are training for the most difficult task of shifting our mind's patterns in the same way my mind shifts "My Mom is," to "my Mom was." People will try to comfort with "Your Mom will always be." But she won't. She isn't. She is gone.
In society, we are expected to go back to work, to re-enter our lives, to maintain relationships of all sorts in the face of grief. The only comfort I have for us all, is that practice is practice. It relates to all expressions of our mind, even the mind of deep pain and insufferable loss.
The hospice nurse wrote to me in her sympathy card, "Your Mom taught me about a good death." I think a good death means a death free from obscuration. Free of any pretenses that we shouldn't actually be dying. And I think Mom's death reflected the way she lived her life, which to me, was a good life.
We are all, always on a threshold of having, losing, taking-in, and letting-go. There's nothing—not one thing—we can hold onto and keep. It's all passing, fleeting, and already gone. I think in this way, my grief is an expression of preciousness. And the enormous love I feel for my Mom is an expression of gratitude for this human life—in which I've shared thirty-one years with the best Mom in the world.

Christa Joy is a singer-songwriter and elementary school teacher. She lives in Western Massachusetts with her partner, Jeremy, and mutt dog, Jack.
To see the rest of our Under 35 Project posts, click here. To read more and submit your own work, visit the project's website.

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Reports: China easing bans on Tibetans displaying Dalai Lama images

Posted: 27 Jun 2013 05:00 PM PDT

News is emerging that China, just three months after the swearing in of new president Xi Jinping, is in the initial stages in Tibet of tentatively loosening long-standing bans on Tibetans displaying and venerating images of HH the Dalai Lama.
Citing British rights group Free Tibet, Reuters reports that the 1996 ban has been lifted at one of Tibet's largest monasteries, Ganden, located in Tibet's capital of Lhasa. At the same time, Bloomberg says that Radio Free Asia has broadcast that such restrictions on display of the Dalai Lama's image are being eased throughout the eastern provinces of Sichuan and Qinghai.
According to the Bloomberg piece, Radio Free Asia also quotes a Qinghai resident that officials there are no longer under standing orders to denounce the Dalai Lama. Robbie Barnett, director of the Modern Tibet Studies Program at Columbia University, underlined the importance of this step:
"Denigrating the Dalai Lama, insulting him, attacking him, basing policy on accusations against him, that's a national-level propaganda theme," he said. "So reversing that is much more significant than the question of photographs."
An official spokesman from Tibet's government-in-exile in Dharamsala, India, was far more cautious when speaking to Bloomberg. He said that much deeper policy changes would be needed to ease the severity of China's religious repression within Tibet, which has provoked 120 self-immolation protests by Tibetan monastics and lay people there since February, 2009.
Update: The New York Times, drawing from Asian-language media, expands on the reporting above, discussing China's apparent experiment to "separate the Dalai Lama's religious and political roles" in Tibet.
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Buddhist Monk, U Wirathu and the 969 Movement.

Posted: 27 Jun 2013 02:00 PM PDT

(Poster for 969 movement in Burma)

A recent Time magazine article reported on the radical, anti-Muslim views being preached by the Burmese monk, U Wirathu. A vocal minority, however, still supports this man masquerading as a peaceful, Buddhist monk. There are those who say that U Wirathu isn't personally involved in any violence but he certainly is stoking hatred among some in the 969 movement with his speeches and sermons.

The 969 movement is a Buddhist-nationalist movement that promotes sectarianism by encouraging Buddhists to avoid Muslim-owned shops. This extremist group is being blamed for burning Muslims businesses and even mosques leaving their "969" symbol painted on the burned-out buildings. To be sure, not all Buddhists, nor members of the 969 movement are engaging in violence, but to think Wirathu's Muslim hate-speech has no influence on fueling hateful violence against Islamic communities is to live in denial. So, what do I mean by "hate-speech?" Read further.

I watched a video of a sermon by Wirathu and several times he referred to Muslims using the racial slur, "Kalar." I addition, he referred to Buddhists in Burma as "Burmese" while calling Burmese Muslims, "Muslims" or "Kalars." The conclusion being that Wirathu doesn't see Burmese Muslims as worthy of being Burmese. Enlightened monks do not use racial slurs. Compassionate monks do not use racial slurs. Listen to his own words:

Wirathu claims that spending money at Muslim shops will eventually lead to the destruction of Burma's Buddhist population. As quoted from Global Post, "We Buddhists allow them to freely practice their faith," Wirathu said in the same February speech. "But once these evil Muslims have control, they will not let us practice our religion." How is calling Muslims "evil" not hate speech? Wirathu then says that Buddhists shouldn't allow Muslims to practice their religion freely, or else Islamic Burmese will essentially destroy Buddhist. Well, it's not difficult to understand then how such bigoted words would incite hatred and violence by some radical, Buddhists when a, "respected" Buddhist monk says that Buddhist will be destroyed by Muslims if Burmese Buddhists allow them to practice their religion. This isn't anything new for Wirathu. In 2003, he was arrested for spreading anti-Muslim leaflets. Including calls to expel all Muslims from Burma. This according to the International Business Times (link). In the Myanmar Times, Wirathu claims he's only doing what President Obama has done fighting Islamic extremists, except Obama doesn't refer to Muslims using racial slurs, nor target average, Muslim businesses simply for being Muslim. Additionally, President Obama isn't a Buddhist monk. I don't believe Obama is behaving in the same way as Wirathu, but even if I did, monks should be held to higher standards than politicians. Otherwise, what's the point of taking vows as a Buddhist monk to live like Buddha in a peaceful, tolerant and kind way? I'm not saying that monks shouldn't have political views, but they certainly shouldn't be inciting hatred or intolerance of non-Buddhists. It should be troubling, as well, that now the Burmese dictator, Thein Sein has defended Wirathu. That according to the Democratic Voice of Burma. This is a calculating move by the government to exploit Buddhist suspicions of Muslims in Burma to stoke the government's on-going campaign against minority populations in the Asian country. Whipping-up anti-Muslim sentiments within the Buddhist community in Burma fits the government's agenda. If you can exploit divisions within a country, it makes it easier for a despotic regime to maintain its grip on power because the people are busy fighting among themselves. Some defenders of Wirathu claim that criticism of extremist Buddhists such as Wirathu equates to attacking Buddhist itself. I beg to differ. The condemnations haven't been aimed at Buddhist itself, but rather one monk, and some of his supporters. He is only using Buddhist as a cover to incite hatred and violence. He might be a decent monk when talking about other issues, but in my opinion, he loses all credibility as a monk when he begins using racial slurs and hate-filled words directed at a small group of Muslims--a minority group in Burma. One of the more troubling aspects to Wirathu's words is that they are poisoning the minds of younger monks studying at his monastery. On the Global Post news site we hear from one of those monks, a 27 year-old. "They're brutal. They rape girls. They're kalar." (The word "kalar" is a highly insulting Burmese term often applied to Muslims, particularly those with dark South Asian complexions.)" Their may be a few Muslims who are rapists, but the same could be said of Buddhists. Rape isn't a crime associated with one religion, race or people but is rather a crime that is a scourge within all communities worldwide, whether in the religious or secular communities. Luckily, however, there are those in the Buddhist community in Burma who are trying to oppose Wirathu's sectarianism. According to the independent Burmese media group, "Democratic Voice of Burma" the beloved and well-respected democracy icon, Aung San Suu Kyi has spoken-out against violence against Muslims in Burma, "Democracy icon Aung San Suu Kyi today finally threw her voice into the debate, calling for the perpetrators [who commit violence against Muslims] to be held to account in accordance with the rule of law. She added that "the majority of the people in a society should have sympathy for the minority." I realize that not all Muslims are peaceful and accepting of other faiths, and I acknowledge that some Muslims in Burma might be behaving in criminal ways. However, just as it would be wrong to attack all Buddhists for what Wirathu is saying, it is wrong to attack all Muslims for the actions of a few extremists. I know that the vast majority of Buddhists in Burma are peaceful, accepting people and that's why I speak out against Wirathu, and some in the 969 movement. I do so to expose a vocal minority in the Burmese sangha who are intolerant and straying dangerously far away from Buddha's message of compassion and loving-kindness. Let me be clear, I am not against the Burmese people, nor Burma. I do not dislike Burma. In fact, I hope to one-day visit. I am merely speaking-out against a small minority of Buddhists in Burma. The vast majority in Burma are good people. Burma is a great country. A country that is better than religious sectarianism. I am a fellow Buddhist--not some outsider looking to sully the image of such a noble religion. It is because Buddhist is so noble that we should speak-out against anyone who uses the title of "monk" to spread anything other than the Dharma. It's hard for me to imagine that Buddha would support such sectarianism. I can't imagine him using racial slurs or spreading hateful messages about another religion. I suggest we all look to the non-sectarian example of King Ashoka. It is my hope that Buddhists and Muslims can live peacefully together in Burma. I personally believe that Buddha would support such tolerance of diversity. ~i bow to the buddha within all beings~ Read More @ Source

Score one for the chimps — and all beings

Posted: 27 Jun 2013 01:00 PM PDT

Photo credit: Jeekc

Earlier this month on our Facebook page, we shared some news that anthropologist and primatologist Jane Goodall, our current-issue Q&A subject, would be happy about — that the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service had proposed that "all chimpanzees, those in the wild and in captivity, be listed as endangered species — a move that could end the use of chimps in medical research."
Now, just a couple of weeks later, the National Institutes of Health has issued a statement announcing that they will in fact "substantially reduce the use of chimpanzees in NIH-funded biomedical research and designate for retirement most of the chimpanzees it currently owns or supports." Additionally, the NIH will seek to minimize the impact of research upon remaining chimpanzees. This is, at least, a step in a positive direction. Read the full NIH statement here.
(You can read an excerpt of "For Love of Nature," Andrea Miller's Q&A with Goodall — as found in our July 2013 magazine — here.)
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For the Sake of All Beings, We Vow This Conversation: A report from the Gen X Dharma Teacher Gathering

Posted: 27 Jun 2013 11:00 AM PDT

Rev. Jay Rinsen Weik of Great Heartland Buddhist Temple of Toledo reports on the Gen X Dharma Teacher Gathering held earlier this month in Escondido, California.

Recently, a historic gathering of Gen X teachers of the Buddhadharma occurred at Deer Park Monastery in California. This retreat and conference was for western teachers — of any recognized Buddhist lineage that offers refuge in the Buddha, dharma, and sangha — born between 1960 and 1980, and for whom teaching is a major life direction.
The mornings began with silent meditation practice followed by a practice led by representatives from the different lineages. The rest of the day was designed to offer opportunities for safe and candid conversation among the participants around topics that they found compelling. These conversations were about diversity, holding teachers accountable, dealing with difficult dharma topics, sustaining ourselves, different views about the increasing prevalence of secular mindfulness, dealing with money, LGBTQ concerns, sharing the dharma with kids, learning about each other's experiences in the dharma, and more. Crowd-sourcing of topics, open space, mapping processes, self selecting affinity groups and fishbowl conversations were what the time was set aside for.
Over the past two years, the organizing committee (of which I was a member) held about eight conference calls and one onsite meeting in preparation for the event. Being part of the team allowed me to see it all unfold from the beginning.
One of the things that became a clear theme to me as the Gathering played out was that the challenges and opportunities that this generation faces are truly not the same as those of the generation before.
Many of those teachers who came before us have spent their lives engaged in efforts to translate the dharma from its Asian roots, spending years of effort parsing the differences between Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Tibetan, Vietnamese, Indonesian and Indian language and culture and the deep truths of the Buddhadharma. Of course, for most lineages this work continues on to a greater or lesser extent, but each young teacher stands on the shoulders of those who have done an immense amount of work in this area for us, for which we are all unspeakably grateful.
Of course, the past generation of teachers also have their shadow aspects, as do the institutions and lineages which have been passed on through them.
As the holders of the dharma in the West in the 21st century, it seems to me that we are likely to unconsciously carry on these shadows (as well as the gifts of these lineages) unless we do something differently. Happily, this gathering is evidence to the fact that many of Gen X teachers are doing that different thing.
And the different thing, as I see it anyhow, is a simple and profound one:
It is conversation. Real and true conversations between lineage holders were conducted in safety and trust, addressing about those elephants in the dharma room that desperately need attention.
Gone are the days of the culty and isolated rockstar dharma teacher beyond question — or at least the Gathering's participants hope them to be gone. Those who would assert that they or their lineage alone hold the sole keys to the Buddha's truth would have been very out of place in the midst of those of us who gathered at Deer Park Monastery for our sessions of conversation and interaction.
Agreement on every point was certainly not a requirement, but treating each other with respect and integrity in the midst of deep and at times difficult listening and speaking was. And it happened in spades, over and over again, as the days of retreat unfolded.
It happened in conversations in the desert groove and high in the mountains, in conversations in the Dharma Hall and the tea rooms, during walks and over meals. It happened in conversations between teachers of different lineages sharing honestly the joys and sorrows of inheriting and holding up the lamp of the dharma to the winds and darkness of the world as we find it today.
And all of these conversations had one major thing in common, so as far as I could see: No one voice was dominant. No one tried to take over and make it their show.
That is no small accomplishment in an assembly filled with the charismatic and capable leaders of sanghas across American, Canada and Europe. This fact alone is enough to suggest to me that things are headed in something of the right direction.
And so it seems that a kind of template has been set. There is great interest in holding these Gen X Dharma teacher meetings again every few years, and there are already several groups and projects forming from the retreat that will in some way shape the direction the dharma takes going forward.
My sincere hope is that this Mahasangha teachers' conversation will continue and deepen as time goes on, and that these conversations will continue to inform and shape the health and vibrancy of the Buddhadharma's continued transmission to the West.
.
Rev. Jay Rinsen Weik is a Dharma heir of James Ishmael Ford Roshi and serves Great Heartland Buddhist Temple of Toledo, a Boundless Way Zen affiliate. For more from him visit him online at www.JayRinsenWeik.com.
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Karmapa announces overhaul of Buddhist nuns’ education

Posted: 27 Jun 2013 10:00 AM PDT

The Gyalwang Karmapa's office has announced a major initiative to radically improve the education of Buddhist nuns, particularly those in his own Karma Kagyu tradition, following a two-day meeting he convened with the leaders of eight nunneries from across Himalayan Asia. While the nuns' study curriculum is being brought up to the high standards enjoyed by the monks, Gyalwang Karmapa will establish the Arya Kshema Winter Debates, named for the female disciple of Shakyamuni Buddha "foremost…in wisdom and confident eloquence."
"'Women and men are equally responsible for upholding the Buddhadharma,' the Gyalwang Karmapa said, explaining his reason for undertaking this initiative. 'It is very clear within the Dharma taught by Lord Buddha that women and men were given equal opportunities and equal responsibilities for practicing and transmitting his teachings.'"
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From The Under 35 Project: “A Good Death”

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