From The Under 35 Project: How not to tell a colleague to **** off
From The Under 35 Project: How not to tell a colleague to **** off |
- From The Under 35 Project: How not to tell a colleague to **** off
- Another Grand Day Out
- Buddhist delegation visits ancient viharaya in Kotapola
- Buddhist monk accused of Alabama temple killing
- Taiwan's Buddhist rites "killing millions" of animals
| From The Under 35 Project: How not to tell a colleague to **** off Posted: 14 May 2012 07:00 AM PDT
"Sarah has hit on something that we all face in our work life — that difficult person we simply can't wish away," Lodro says. "They are there, day after day, presenting us with an opportunity to practice." Click through to read Sarah's story, and to learn how you can be a part of the Under 35 Project. How not to tell a colleague to **** off A few years ago I worked with someone who truly shook my practice. I was just at the start of "serious" practice and was definitely not ready for such a challenge. Thankfully for me, it has been a rare occurrence, but every so often in life you encounter someone who makes you want to gouge your eyes out and shove them in your ears so you no longer have to see or hear their absurdities. If there's anything I can't take, it's bad manners, and without meaning to sound too much like my mum, what does it really cost to be polite? This particular colleague was a pure bully, bringing a very special combination of bad manners (to put it politely) and chaos. The situation was made worse by the fact that I had worked so hard to get this job at a prestigious hospital. And in a matter of weeks, I could feel her wearing away at my delicately constructed layers of confidence. And this was the person I was required to work most closely with in my job. This post isn't going to be all rant, but in the interest of being informative, I was faced with a colleague who ignored me when I said good morning and goodbye, and who actively disagreed with everything I said, professionally or otherwise. Despite being at a similar level as this colleague, I was treated as the skivvy, doing all the jobs she didn't want to do. Far from feeling like a grown-up professional, I was 15 again and back in the playground dealing with the school bully. Thankfully I had come some way from the modes of retaliation I opted for at school, but she certainly unleashed years of built-up frustration at a particular breed of girls. There was definitely something in the fact that I was in a large all-female department; it was as if some primitive powers of destructive competition would meander their way through the department on a daily basis. So, I began working on trying to make life more bearable primarily for myself and resisting the urge to tell her precisely and explicitly what I thought of her. Of course, it did go through my mind to try to reason with her in a very adult fashion and tackle things head on, but the thought of doing this made me feel physically nauseous, and I feared making things even worse than they already were. So instead I added her into my daily practice as the 'difficult person' in my metta bhavana (loving kindness) practice. And my god, did it stretch me. I had to work up to just picturing her in the practice, let alone sending any metta. It surprised me to realize, however, that the first stage of sending myself metta was every bit as important as the latter stages. It was okay to realize that I was suffering too. After some weeks I was finally able to tolerate a short period of sending her metta, and I had a few 'light bulb' moments. I realized she was clearly suffering herself, as no one at peace with herself could display such behavior. I also realized I wasn't the only person around her she caused to suffer, and there were most likely people who were less able to cope with this than me. Finally, I decided there must be people out there in the world who find her utterly agreeable. Dzogchen Ponlop makes a very apt observation of an angry work colleague: "Appreciate that she's caught up in a pattern of confusion and that her confusion causes her more pain than it's causing you, because it touches all parts of her life. You're only dealing with it at the office." How true — if only I had read this at the time! It's also so easy to make other people's issues about us. All I could think at the start was "What the hell have I done to her?" "What's so awful about me that she can't stand?" This is a great example of the ego closing in and shutting down our thinking. Clearly, the world does not revolve around me, although this feels like a revelation on some days. Slowly… very slowly… things started to shift. I watched the frustrations build up in myself as my ego was seriously threatened, and then slowly dissipate. I let go of the resistance to her behavior. It was what it was. I tried to help those around her who she upset. After some months, I noticed that at times (on a good day) I could approach her slightly more compassionately. This stood out for me on two particular occasions. The first was her birthday, when her card was making the rounds to be signed. While I had the impulse to write something decidedly rude on it, I paused and sat deep in thought, wanting to say something kind, but also genuine. So it turned out I could find a few words. The other occasion was when I held the door open for her. She did not acknowledge me — not even a bit of eye contact — but waltzed straight past without a "thank you" in sight. This was a situation that would have infuriated me on a normal day, but on this day something different happened. I laughed. So was it the perfect response? No, probably not. But it was progress from the blind rage I had felt earlier. And the weird thing was that the laughter was at both of us: her for her blatant rudeness, and me for my incessant desire for impeccable manners. So on my last day at my work, I thanked her and said goodbye. I didn't lie; I didn't tell her I was sad to be leaving or that I would miss her, but I did work hard to find something kind and constructive to say. And she ignored me, naturally. So what happened to my colleague? Well, rumor has it she was disciplined after I left. And me? Well, I haven't experienced such progress in my metta bhavana practice since. Read More @ Source Monastic chanting 
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| Posted: 13 May 2012 02:00 PM PDT The huge black cast iron tea kettle was swinging wildly on its hook above the Muker Tea Shop. The wind was that strong. Even so a small group, including a dog, walked in Upper Swaledale today. From Keld to Muker and back with a stop of lunch. Brrr was it cold! We were a bit early in the year to see the wildflower meadows however the photographs on this site show the area really well. It is well worth a tour of the site, the photographs are really good. The drive to Keld reminded me once again how very close I am to this wild country of Yorkshire. Stunning at any time of the year. But best of all, today, was the opportunity to walk and talk with members of the Sangha. To test out my thoughts and learn too. Wonderful. Another Grand Day Out and thanks particularly to Nic for organizing the event for us. Read More @ SourceMindfulness and the Brain with Jack Kornfield and Dan Siegel 
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| Buddhist delegation visits ancient viharaya in Kotapola Posted: 13 May 2012 12:00 PM PDT Lanka Daily News, May 12, 2012Kotapola, Sri Lanka -- An international Buddhist delegation led by Ven Hou Jen Chun, the abbot of the World Buddhist Ch'an Jing Centre of the United States of America will visit Gatabaruwa Raja Maha Viharaya, Kotapola. They will also visit the Gatabaruwa Raja Maha Vihara, Kotapola. At the vihara, they will offer alms to 25 Buddhist monks from the Kotapala area and lay the foundation stone to a Buddhist Pilgrimage Centre. The alms giving ceremony and the construction of the pilgrimage centre will be conducted by Ven Dr Kirinde Ananda Thera of the Getabaru Raja Maha Viharaya under the guidance of Most Ven Pandita V Chandavimala Maha Thera. 
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| Buddhist monk accused of Alabama temple killing Posted: 13 May 2012 11:00 AM PDT AP, May 13, 2012Grand Bay, AL (USA) -- Police have charged a Buddhist monk with fatally bludgeoning a temple leader in Grand Bay, AL.
Vern Phdsamay was arrested Friday and charged with the murder of 45-year-old Chaiwat Moleechate, who was found beaten to death. It was not clear whether Phdsamay had a lawyer.
Burch told The Mobile Press-Register that investigators found a witness. Police are seeking a Laotian interpreter to help interview that witness. Temple member Sasikant Noreross said the killing left her in disbelief. She said Phdsamay had recently refused to talk to others and locked himself in his room for months, except when he would leave briefly to get food. On Saturday morning, Buddhists began to gather from throughout the Southeast to mourn temple leader Chaiwat Moleechate, 45, who died Friday. "People are here to pay respects," said Somprasong Songcharoen, a native of Bangkok who works as a plastic surgeon in Jackson, Mississippi, and helped fund the building of the temple. With others from Jackson, Songcharoen mingled and visited with Buddhists from temples far and wide as cars pulled into the 5-acre religious site off a rural highway of cornfields, farmhouses, and small, Christian churches. Among visitors were monks from Jackson; New Orleans; Jacksonville, Florida, and other cities, that had gathered to pray and receive offerings for the late monk. Before the altar, with figures of the Buddha, a shrine was set up to Moleechate, with photos of the monk, a plate with apples, day lilies, and a candle. Mourners approached the shrine and lit incense. The temple, said Visanou Khamphouy, president of the congregation, planned a prayer service Saturday at 7 p.m. and Sunday at 7 p.m. Read More @ Source
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| Taiwan's Buddhist rites "killing millions" of animals Posted: 13 May 2012 10:00 AM PDT Channel News Asia, 13 May 2012TAIPEI, Taiwan -- Tens of millions of animals, mostly fish and birds, are dying every year in Taiwan because of so-called "mercy releases" by Buddhists trying to improve their karma, according to animal welfare activists.
Around 750 such ceremonies are carried out in Taiwan each year, according to the Environment and Animal Society of Taiwan. Negotiations have seen some groups agreeing to halt the practice, but others have yet to accept a ban, Lin Kuo-chang, an official from the government's Council of Agriculture, told AFP on Sunday. Proposed amendments to current wildlife protection laws would see offenders facing up to two years in jail or fined up to 2.5 million Taiwan dollars (US$ 85,000) for such unauthorised releases, he said. Read More @ SourceThat's My King, Do You Know Him? SM Lockridge 
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<< At the Buddhist temple in Grand Bay where the Rev. Chaiwat Molechee was killed on Friday, fellow Buddhist monks gathered on Saturday from throughout the Southeast to receive prayers on behalf of the late monk. Buddhists from Jackson, Mississippi; Jacksonville, Florida; and New Orleans were among those who traveled to Grand Bay to honor the memory of the beloved monk. (Press-Register/Roy Hoffman)
The government is now planning to ban the practice, saying it damages the environment and that a large proportion of the 200 million or so creatures released each year die or are injured due to a lack of food and habitat.| You are subscribed to email updates from BuddhaRocks ☸ Buddhist To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
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