Buddhist Children? - Thoughts on Children in Buddhist Families and Communities
Over during Cheerio Road, Karen Maezen Miller has the post entitled "not teaching young kids to meditate" which kind of gets under my nerves. we essentially determine with the little of what she's saying, as well as conclude the knowledge she has had leading the children's module during the Zen Center, as well as additionally as the parent. I'm not the parent, so we infrequently feel similar to stepping in upon issues similar to this aren't my territory.
At the same time, we have had mixed jobs operative with children, outlayed 3 years as the clergyman in the zen center's children's program, as well as am currently in the middle of the lot of discussions about the place as well as purpose of young kids as well as girl within the sangha. All of this gives me the small window of perspective. I'm not expert, though I'm additionally not someone who has no knowledge with kids, as well as only wants to pontificate. So, whatever we will contend is entrance from the somewhat alien position, as well as I'd inspire relatives who have been Buddhist practitioners to chime in upon this issue.
Of the comments in the Cheerio Road post, these have been the one's we substantially most bristle at:
About the devout precision of young, my perspective is the bit of the same. How we hoop in your home is their devout upbringing. we consider we have to be clever with all forms of ideological indoctrination, as well as which is what devout precision is in children: the deception of the set of epitome beliefs as well as ideals. Children will take these from of us, though we dont consider dogma serves any the single for long. After all, we was the really good Sunday School student, the star of my confirmation class, as well as nonetheless we had my own devout predicament to finalise later in life. We all do.
I continually remind myself which Im not trying to lift the Buddhist ch! ild. Im trying to lift the Buddhist mother, as well as its taking all my time! Not only my family, though additionally everyone everywhere will be served by my clinging discipline in my own training. Not since Im self-important, though in recognition of the the single loyal reality: no self. We have been all interdependent, which equates to we have been all one.
Before we speak about my disagreements, we will contend which upon top of all, the behavior of adult mentor figures, whether parents, extended family, teachers, or others, IS of most importance. So, we determine there.
Now to the areas of contention.
1. The Sunday School example - it's no secret which most modify Buddhists grew up and/or had poignant contact with Christian or Jewish communities. They have relatives and/or grandparents who are, or were, devout Christians or Jews, as well as who forced them to attend regular eremite direction as the child, direction which was mostly about feeding young kids the worldview which had to be accepted as true. So, there's an understandable desire to not repeat those use with their kids. However, how most of this concern over teaching valid, as well as how most is the greeting to what they gifted in Judeo-Christian settings?
2. Uber-Individualism - Buddhists in the "West," especially modify Buddhists, onslaught with office building prolonged lasting, sustainable communities. Children as well as teenagers aren't continually welcome, let alone deliberate vital members of the sangha. But beyond Buddhism, village in general is utterly challenged in places similar to the U.S. Whereas in the past, friends, neighbors, as well as village elders were all to the little degree or an additional deliberate partial of the extended parenting family, currently for most children, these people have been mostly noticed with suspicion. Teachers, devout leaders, as well as alternative village leaders have been additionally noticed as most with guess as being potentially good influences upon children. No! w, posit ively there have been current reasons for the little of this suspicion, as well as we consider it's utterly critical for relatives to be clever as well as minimize risks, though how most of the breakdown in village in general is due to obsession with the chief family, as well as an extreme concentration upon individuality?
When we consider of the Karen, Korean, as well as Vietnamese Buddhist students we have had, all initial era immigrants, the picture is different. The young kids have been cared for by extended family as well as neighborhood elders, they continually attend Buddhist services with their families, as well as they have been deliberate to be an critical partial of the sangha. This doesn't mean which these young kids have perfect lives - infrequently distant from it - though since native innate Americans onslaught with community, immigrants as well as refugees lend towards to have thriving communities, eremite as well as otherwise.
3. What does the healthy lay use demeanour like? One of my favorite questions these days. Adam over during Fly Like the Crow additionally has children, as well as his commitment to use looks utterly opposite than Ms. Miller's. we do not consider the single is right, as well as the alternative wrong. What I'm some-more meddlesome in is about the opposite ways people can manifest deep use while having the family and/or vital in the world. It's smashing which Karen Maezen Miller is the clinging Zen clergyman who not only helps lead the center, though additionally shares essay continually about her use with the universe during large. But we consider devotion will take opposite forms, only as how people lift young kids takes opposite forms. Even if some-more people examine the issues we spoke of in points 1 as well as 2, how they confirm action upon those examinations will demeanour opposite in any case.
In alternative tools of Ms. Miller's post, she argues which young kids have the healthy capability to be present. That they already "practice s! ingle-mi nded attention." And about Buddhist use in general, she states:
The aim of all Buddhist use is to return to the healthy state of wide-eyed consternation as well as unselfconsciousness which we can comply in the young kids most times the day.
I do not agree. Childhood honesty is smashing as well as beautiful, though is it what "the aim" of Buddhist use is? First of all, when we consider of my own childhood, which smashing honesty she is vocalization about was there, though sure as ruin not always. And sometimes, rarely. Some of the time, during least, we was utterly trapped in fear or anger, which tiny any oddity or openness. we mostly acted out of involved views about both my own hold up as well as the universe around me since we was - the kid. we didn't know any better. That's what kids do. And when we was in which some-more open, perhaps "pure or "natural state" - well, we was there, though we had no thought how to bring those use to bear upon the rest of my life. Perhaps if we had been in the class where things similar to imagining as well as simple Buddhist teachings were taught, things would have been different. Or maybe not. But from what we have seen with the young kids as well as teenagers in my own sangha, they're capability to hoop life's difficulties, to send which healthy honesty in to the areas where they get closed down, is some-more advanced than what we displayed as the kid though the sangha.
This gets to my last point. In the sangha, we have the children's as well as girl module which not only teaches meditation, though additionally the little of the simple Buddhist messages, such as the Four Noble truths as well as Eight Fold Path. The kids sense variations upon the Buddha's hold up story, as well as have opportunities to try it all through arts, crafts, discussion, meditation, yoga, as well as infrequently service projects. Some competence contend this is indoctrination, though my own knowledge as the clergyman in the module was which it was about exploration, on! conditi on that the little structures as well as support for exploration.
And which is substantially the categorical reason since we felt constrained to write all of this. Structures similar to zazen, chanting, as well as bowing can be offered as opportunities to try ones hold up during an early age. Basic Buddhist teachings can be offered in the same way. If we have been the Buddhist primogenitor who is some-more in line with what Ms. Miller says, I'd similar to suggest the following question: What is motivating your views? we do not ask this since we consider we have been indispensably right or wrong. It's some-more the subject we consider is worth exploring.
A few weeks ago, we spoke of the core as building the "lifespan" use field. We have continually attempted to module not only for adults, though additionally for children. And in recent years, we have been starting to consider some-more deliberately about what this means, as well as how we competence improved support people in all stages of life. So, I'm meddlesome in what relatives consider out there. How do we work with children? How should sanghas work with children? How does your sangha in sold work with children?
*The picture is of the banner of photos for the center's children's program. we thought about anticipating something else after we saw the distortion, though essentially consider it fits well as the visual with the discussion during hand.
