Soto Zen Zombies



Inspired by this waggish post over at Elephant Journal "documenting" the signs the friend is becoming the yoga zombie, I present to you:

Eight Signs of the Soto Zen Zombie, or an Eight Fold Path not to follow

The chairman in question is found:

1. Wearing his/hers rakusu whilst sitting upon the toilet. When questioned about this, the chairman says "I'm meditating upon letting go of defilements."

2. Every e-mail the chairman sends ends with the closing "bows."

3. Every entertainment the chairman attends is disrupted when the chairman lifts their dull booze potion in to the air, as well as loudly, enthusiastically declares which "all is inherently empty!"

4. The chairman in question gets dismissed from their pursuit for sliding in to "sesshin talk" as well often during important work meetings, as well as then explains to the state welfare central which they were wrongly fired, as well as were only offering their co-workers the glance of their original face.

5. They have the shrine to Dogen in their home which threatens to overtake both the kitchen as well as the vital room.

6. The chairman has "Suzuki Roshi said" or "Katagiri Roshi said" tattooed down their arms so that, when upon retreat, they can still suggest something wise to their associate practitioners.

7. They now bow instead of give handshakes or hugs, even with strangers.

8. The answer to any as well as all problems in life, personal or social, is "more zazen!"

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